Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
