his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
