FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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