I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
