Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
