He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
17 year olds will be the death of me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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