mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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