woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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