just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
