just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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