Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
