i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
