Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
