I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
im having a threesome with these popsicles
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
