Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
