lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
