pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
