we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
