i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
