So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Randomize
