i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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