i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
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The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
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Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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