My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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