I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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