we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize