At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They have beer where we have blood.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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