You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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