Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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