you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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