As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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