We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
