the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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