In the future we'll all be gay
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
