I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
NoShamevember. You game?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
