Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
