return my video game
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
