I'm gonna have a badass scar
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I had to cum in my sink.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
