New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
