anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize