dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's blow job season.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
