too bad you live with your parents still
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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