We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
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