the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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