and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
