Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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