My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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