wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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