You're so nebulous sometimes
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
