I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize