She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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