How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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