Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
