If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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