It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
