If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
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i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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