Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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