I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He's on the porch naked. Help.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
