I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
