soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
the liver wants what the liver wants
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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