Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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