Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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