I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
