Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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