Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
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