This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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